A conversational review in Terrain.org of Tony Hoagland’s final collection Turn Up the Ocean by Elizabeth Jacobsen and Derek Sheffield April 25, 2023 https://www.terrain.org/2023/reviews-reads/turn-up-the-ocean/
“Butter” by Tony Hoagland read by Sher Schwartz
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5 responses to ““Butter” by Tony Hoagland read by Sher Schwartz”
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I would like to think that it’s possible to find something to admire or appreciate in everyone if you look deep enough. I may admire an aspect of an individual or an artistic expression or their unique capabilities and still question other attributes they express. When kind words are delivered with a kind heart it often reverberates and continues to be repeated. Like an echo of praise.
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I really loved this actually. Even in my 60s, I still like to receive a sincere compliment, especially on my work – even though arguably I could objectively say I’m at or near the top of my nerdy niche field. One of my clients recently said she could tell which drafts were mine because they were beautiful. I lived on that compliment for a week! So I have also come to understand that an unexpected sincere compliment is such a pleasure to receive. I do make a point to compliment others and it’s really pleasing to see the reaction. The insincerity you mention – if I had witnessed that – would definitely take away from the pleasure!
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Oh, a complex poem! Flattery is fake praise with intentions of getting one’s way with another. The spraying with a garden hose, mist nozzle and all, is still vaguely violent. We do not need more falseness in the world. But true praise, sweetness, kindness, an “oh, what a pretty dress,” or “I love the colors in your tie,” if said genuinely, can surprise and delight someone. It is, honestly, one of the joys of getting older, feeling much more free to say nice things to strangers, because I’m well past the age of wanting or needing anything from them in return. I’m just a woman of a certain age saying, “Love your sweater! You look great!”
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Thanks for your comments. I was just with a small group of poets discussing this poem, and it was so interesting to note how we all viewed it a bit differently. My experiences gave me a bit darker view of the poem than everyone else’s, but I agree with you — sincerity is the key!
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Great to read everyone’s comments. Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment.
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